Turning Point
"The shortest distance between two points is a straight line." Following the road of life, that mathematical truth can sometimes lead to an unhappy or unexpected ending. There are ups and downs and twists, turns, bends and curves in every highway. Expecting anything less on our way to a meaningful and fulfilling life is a mistake. Nor, should we expect a single turning point to set us on a course forever straight thereafter.
Winds and tides determine the route of a sailing vessel, but there are many changes of direction required to keep its sails full while driving to its ultimate destination. Swift and efficient "tacks" reduce the time it takes to reach the ultimate goal, whether it's home port or the finish line of a race. And, so it is with the course of life.
How well we deal with the twists of fate presented us, will determine our progress of personal growth. We can choose to persist no matter what the obstacles are, or analogous to sailing, alter our course and chart new waters. There are risks whichever choice we make.
A child of ten dreams of being an Astronaut; A boy of fifteen dreams of becoming a professional baseball player; A young man of twenty dreams of fast cars, a beautiful wife and financial success. A young woman of twenty dreams of becoming an airline pilot. The parents of the ten-year old might have dreams of he or she becoming a doctor, lawyer, scientist, musician or teacher. There is nothing wrong with these dreams as long as the circumstances of life are allowed to flow through them.
Significant events create turning points in our lives. Recognizing these turns as opportunities and pursuing them often takes courage. Will we succeed or fail? We'll never know unless we take the turn.
As parents teaching our children to set goals and not give up until they are reached, is important. Equally important, is allowing our children to alter those goals when circumstances warrant change. There are no absolutes in life, other than death.
What have we accomplished as parents if our child follows our dream and is unhappy in that role? Allowing our children the latitude to make their own choices is the greatest gift we can give them. Will there be pain? Probably. Will they make mistakes? Of course. Will they succeed or fail? We may never know--life is only complete when it's over.
My father's untimely and unexpected death at the hands of a careless hunter when I was a young 13 year-old was providential for me. From that event, I formed a set of beliefs and a basic philosophy for dealing with my life that has allowed me to experience it to the fullest, with little fear. The result of this has been several failures and many successes which have helped to broaden my knowledge, but never deterred me from a willingness to try something different, new, or seek more knowledge.
I have followed the dots of my life's picture, somewhat like going down a county road or a dark tunnel not really knowing where it's going to take me until I arrive. Whatever I find or experience is the result of my choices, good or bad.
And that's the lesson of life I want to leave for my children, grandchildren and great grandchildren; Accept responsibility for the choices you make in life; Be proud of your accomplishments; Learn from your mistakes; treat turning points as opportunities for personal growth; Don't be afraid of failure--learn from it. There are cures for failure, but none for not trying.
©2002 Bill Effinger